I can't believe some people would just leave others so cruelly, if I stayed with someone I'd never do such a thing...Because if I stayed with someone AND called them my lover that would be commitment.
On the other hand, if I stayed with a friend...I'm just living with the friend and thats it.
There's not much to it.
But wether it is a lover or friend I would not leave them alone to die...If I can't do anything I'm calling for help.
Either it's "Somebody call 911!"
Or
I'm dialing and I call 911...
Now, if no one's around I'll see what I can do..but...I can't make promises if I can't keep them.
Like they say: Don't make promises you can't keep.
I like Ozzy Osbourne-Dreamer
Steve Miller-The Joker
It's great music laid back and fun, I just wanna be relaxed and full of energy, optimistic and lazy, I just want to be indecisive, because that's just me.
So, I'm actually listening to it now,...
Things that make me think of the past, just make me shudder and sometimes I smile, because having memories can be a good thing. A reminder you hadn't yet forgotten even though some memories seem to be best forgotten but those you have to learn from. Learn from those regrets.
I really dislike to remember things at times, it makes me want to pull an imaginary gun to my mouth and then say "bloosh" or "kaplow". Cheesy sound affects I know.
But those memories, most of them, just make me shudder. I really don't like a lot of what I've done. If I could just do something different, maybe it would've been better. Maybe not.
Sometimes, listening to certain songs just make me temporarilly forget and I can feel peaceful and not feel the pain.
I would sing along and enjoy it.
But I think every moment was meant to happen for some reason, I honestly don't know this reason.
It's okay...Or it WILL be okay.
I don't want to cry but I feel like it's coming...maybe it's because I was watching this Japanese TV show , and it was truly depressing and it somehow reminded of me and I started tearing up but I did not ball out.
Which I'm glad that I didn't ball out, that would've been awkward, especially for my friend I was watching it with.
She's the one who had it on her laptop.
I need a hug from someone special and I seem to always need rest. I just drank some capuccino and I'm still effortlessly sleepy and my legs hurt from working out, which I barely do and it's kinda sad.
I'm not fat, but I do have some "Chum Chum" here and there. (Chum Chum is my new way of saying extra or unneeded body weight/fat).
So yeah,...
"SHut up, shut up,... won't bring me down..." Shut up by Simple Plan
I was just listening to that song, by the way.
But I didn't jump nor did I scream, though I wish I did.
Just where I'm at I want to keep the same character I am right now, not act unusual for the people I reside with.
but yeah.... Woot Woot!
I really am now thinking about moving to california, find my peeps live with them, get a job, find all these great youtubers and become their friends because I think they're awesome. Since everyone is only human and there are no higher ranks of other people, I think I'm gonna try to befriend an actor or actress that I favor.
While that I'd think I'd have my book almost done, not even, I just made my prologue recently.
And I'm soon gonna get myself an HD video camera and make my dreams come alive.
Dreams:
Become an actress
get into a movie
get into a show
get into a commercial
Become a Singer (band, solo, idk)
make my book
publish it
make videos on youtube
draw manga or/and awesome pictures
All of these for me to do in my lifetime is not impossible.
I believe in myself.
