Days in Job Corps

I live in a dorm had two roopm from the start, one moved to a different dorm maybe with her child. The second got very sick and didn't come back. They both had different personalities, one seemed more oif a partier and do a lot of the fun things. As for the other she seemed a little moody at times( plus including her having to be the Jay Captain.)

Jay Captain: the leaders who check to see if the Jays and GI's are done, and they control the snack giving and the laundry list being sure that people go and do their laundry at appropiate timings.
Jays: cleaning the halls and bathroom(east and west end points)
GI's: cleaning the room

The Jay captain may get stressed out from having to tell these younglings on when and how to do everything, and especially if these people don't listen.

I do my Jays and GI's at the best of my ability giving it my mostly 100%!!!

I had recieved three awards, one of them was a leadership award, for being a positive student, and for doing good in CPP.

CPP: Career Preparation Period

I have went through CPP and now I'm in Academics; which is nothing like school, and my trade (Culinary Arts)
Academics: a place for learning but not by the "teachers" who are technically just staff watching over the student-employees. We learn from books and lots of writing. Either getting GED or High School Diploma.
Culinary Arts: one of the few/many trades the have in Job Corps. One first starts in being sanitary in the workplace, then cooking, then fast pace cooking. And there are in between stages, which include the uniform. They...fro what i've heard...are changing up the uniforms and extending the amount of time for the stage/class of the teacher(instructor)/part of the trade.

This has been the trade i've wanted even before I came there. (Culinary Arts.) And I really in deep desire want to complete the trade successfully.

And back to the roommates, I have two new peculiar rommies...but we all have more than one thing in common...but we just can't hang with each other long enough...

infact I just don't like hanging out with ladies, my own kind...I'd rather hang with men...atleast the guys I hangout with are more cool.

I had one boyfriend who dumped me because of the assumption of cheating on, because somebody told him so. which was never true.
but ironically i never truly liked the guy, so it was for the best.
and the guy the douche thought i cheated on him with i was starting to like even more than the day I met him...Which I really, really liked him the day I met him. He's my lover. for four weeks+
but apparently we're just friends now but we both still love, care, and miss each other.

The one I care for his name is Tim. I like every single thing I  know about him, he's awesome and cool. And I met him there in Job Corps and he completed. I'm happy for him.

BML

Moving, times passing

I got a new phone, i'm leaving already tomorrow to job corps for my education, love and miss my mom, have been missing my dad...can't let the missing distract me on what i need to do though. doesn't mean i don't love them. trying to make videos....on youtube. and trying to stay happy.

BML

Multitasking

I'm using pandora radio, youtube, and blogger. Then I'm gonna make an e-mail for my mom, then communicate with her from it. I'm feelingt better than the other days. It's actually very peculiar.

BML

In the mid of April

I'm looking for extra casting on the internet so I can build a resume, I am looking for jobs and handing in applications so I can get some cash. And I might  go into Job Corps, a/n acquaintance/friend of mine (he help me and my family around) gave me a flier that says no cost for living, meals, medical, dental, books, tools, uniforms, or even job placement services. If I do join, I have to call this guy back for an orientation, and I'll do Culinary Arts because I like smelling foods and dealing with spices. But I'd be cooking vegetarian style because I'm not a fan of meat. Ugh!

So, I'm listening to music right now in the college library like what I did yesterday.

And I got $15 for doing a study so that was good. It had deal with hispanic accents with audio and a survey about immigrants and illegal immigrants. It only took about 15 minutes or less, I think. I mean It felt quick. They didn't ask me my age, but I just filled out a form and then the student there took me to the room. It had three computers(each one had a gray seperater), the one in the middle I paid attention to; it had huge head phones and two microphones. And the instructions were simple.

BML

Sites More

• Zinch.com
• Iwon.com
• ModelMayhem.com
• VampireFreaks.com
• Georgia.ConnenctionsAcademy.com
• DupSpot.com
• Make-Your-Own-Song.com
• berkleeMusic.com
• MyCokeRewards.com
• OneSourceTalent.com
• YouModelAndAct.com
• JCasaBlancas.com
• AgentAssociation.com
• SoYouWanna.com
• Talent-Agent.info
• ActingResources.org
• FilmTelevisionAuditions.com
• Open-Casting-Calls.info
• FeatureFilmCasting.com
• CommercialAuditions.info

Should I be jealous?

I just feel a little envy but yet I'm greatful for those other people...Those actors and actresses.

But they a lot of them got to start earlier in their life, it's so unfair.

I didn't even know about acting..That it's possible that I could do it as well.

I don't want to blame the whole thing on my parents, but...They never wanted me to be seen. Like no picture taken...Can't even upload a video on the internet.

Living with strict over proctective religious yet divorced parents...
 The whole thing is difficult and confusing.

Why didn't I ever know I could just do it...If I wanted to?

I love singing, and pretending to be somebody else with my brother, and taking pictures of myself with a good body to look at. (I don't like seeing myself chubby.)

And practically my whole life I was shy!!!!

I'm not as shy as I was anymore.

I just need to  raise my voice!!!

(And I need money, transportation, real shelter, and better clothing...etc)

(BTW: my fave actress is Annasophia Robb. My fave actor: Johnny Depp.)

BML

Will I Ever Be?

MY DREAMS

Each person has a dream, right? At least some kind of dream, it can be big or small, but it's a dream.

And so do I, I think it's like once many people dreams. And I used to think, as a young girl about 6 or less, that one who got to be had to be of some kind of royalty; but no. An actor...

People who do get to be this work very hard, and most of the times their parents or themselves actually have a lot of money. But is that truly always the case?

I don't think so, one must have a lot of talent, confidence, and a good voice.

I'd so desire to show people that I have the ability...that I can do it.

But, right now...I'll have to do it myself...
Or even find some type of talent agent.

Will I ever be an actress?

I guess, at this point, we'll see.

BML

SITES

• Facebook.com
• myspace.com
• twitter.com
• ourstage.com
• IMDB.com
• MyCokeRewards.com
• DisneyChannel.com
• make-your-own-song.com

My Coke Rewards

Will I Win?
Winning is normally never a guaratee, but if it were; that'd be so wonderful. Who has ever won something at least once in their life?  I did, but it wasn't awesome just some toy. But I was probably 12  back then anyway. Even if I did want something cool, I'd have to get myself but I wasn't old enough.

My Coke Rewards actually let's a person who is 13 and up possibly win something, but I never bothered till now. I used 3 points on a sweepstake for an ipad...I hope I win!!!

I never tried it before, but if I do get it I'll be jumping for joy. I'll be saving every sing bottle cap that deal with these reward things and put my code and that box and use it on those things.

Everyone always has a chance on winning, chances never equal guarantees, but there is a guarantee on having a chance to win.

And I hope I do.

Crazy or Just Paranoid?

No Picture

Last blog I said BRB, but I know I didn't come back. So my apologies, this time the ending will be different.

Anyways, Since I don't have a picture of myself at all I'm just going to describe how overweight I am right now.

My arms are slightly jiggly, my stomache sticks out about an inch around, and hangs about half an inch. And my thighs are curved around like a pear on both sides on the outside more than usual. Lastly on the back of my kneck I have a small hump. My height is 5 feet and 2 inches, and I think I'm suppose to be about 100 pounds or less. I believe my weight is around 120 or more pounds.

The size of my clothes are suppose to be small, and my jean size is suppose to size 3...I think. But I'm a size medium on shirts and I'd rather just wear sweats; which all that just makes me feel less confident about myself.

So, this is what I'm gonna do I'm going to avoid the fatty foods such as: chips, cookies, soda, anything that Ijust don't need. (Plus, it's just a waste of money.) I'm going to skip lunch, eat only breakfast and supper. Having only water or juice and no dessert no matter how tempting.

I'm walking around a lot but that doesn't help much in cardio for my exercise. So I'm going to try to run in place for about 30 minutes and then stop, and then walk in place for 5 minutes, and then the knee high running in place for 25 minutes. That's about the same3 type of exercise my dad have my brother and I do.

CRRRAZEEEE or PAH- RAH- NOY- D

I think I have the case of arachnophobia, because I'm deeply scared of spiders even if they're small. I think it was eversince I've heard that some...I don't even want to blog this...Are poisonous. Which definetly creaps me out.

So, I keep looking around on the ground or checking the bedroom walls, ceilings or floors, even staying away from trees so I can avoid any spider. The freak me out. Once I see one I'll scream.

GBL
(Gonna Blog Later.)

Is it Great or Not?

Here I Am, Is this for Me?

I've been living in a stinky old boring tow called Thomaston, and I once thought it was actually cool. What was I thinking? Infact, I probably wasn't there were no jobs available and nothing to do, the place (so I've been told) is actually for retirement. Now, tell me again why I lived there?
 
I've only been staying there for my brothers sake for this anger managment religious thing, that was actaually pretty expensive. Dangit! That sucks! So, overall it was a waist of time.

I became hopeless, lying around for about 2 and a half months...And, of course. I've gaind weight in my stomache and my thighs, and some of my clothing doesn't even fit! I should have done something anyway. But...I didn't.

Now, I'm typing all this down in a library in a seemingly better city called Griffin. But it's actually pretty hard to find a job. Are they hiring? Or, are they at least accepting applications?

I've went to about 5 or more places and handed an application, now I still need to hand in another in my boring black purse.

I'm going for resturaunts, grocery stors, supermarkets, clothing retail stores, ane even shoe stores. Whatever that is hiring or accepting applications.

I could try the Cinema too.

The worst part is that I have broken shoes, my eyes are itchy watery and probably slightly dry, I get sneezy and have an itchy nose. And I'm tired because of lack of sleep. And lastly, I have to walk everywhere...Unless, I get a ride from somebody.

 And I even have to walk with my brother, and you know how that is? Right? He sometimes walks too fast for me to keep up, and listens to his music too loud if I want to say something.

BRB

Artists + Song (Cont'd)

Evanescence

• Going Under
• Bring Me To Life
• Everybody's Fool
• My Immortal
• Haunted
• Tourniquet
• Imaginary
• Taking Over Me
• Hello
• My Last Breath
• Whisper
• Sweet Sacrifice
• Call Me When You're Sober
• Weight Of the World
• Lithium
• Cloud Nine
• Snow White Queen
• Lacrymosa
• Like You
• Lose Control
• The Only One
• Your Star
• All That I'm Living For
• Good Enough
• Thoughtless
• Farther Away
• Breathe No More

My Chemical Romance

• The End.
• Dead!
• This Is How I Disappear
• The Sharpest Lives
• Welcome To The Black Parade
• I Don't Love You
• House Of  Wolves
• Cancer
• Mama
• Sleep
• Teenagers
• Disenchanted
• Famous Last Words
• Look Alive, Sunshine
• Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
• Bulletproof Heart
• Sing
• Planetary (Go!)
• The Only Hope For Me Is You
• Jet-Star and the kobra kid/Traffic report
• Party Poison
• Save yourself, I'll hold them back
• Scare Crow
• Summertime
• Destroya
• The Kids From Yesterday
• Goodnite, Dr. Death
• Vampire Money
• Helena
• Give 'em Hell, Kid
• To The End
• You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison
• I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
• The Ghost Of You
• The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You
• Interlude
• Thank You For The Venom
• Hang 'em High
• It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A DeathWish
• Cemetary Drive
• I Never Told What I Do For A Living

The All-American Rejects

• Dirty Little Secret
• Stab My Back
• Move Along
• It Ends Tonight
• Change Your Mind
• Night Drive
• 11:11 p.m.
• Dance Inside
• Top Of The World
• Straightjacket Feeling
• I'm Waiting
• Can't Take It
• My Paper Heart
• Your Star
• Swing, Swing
• Time Stands Still
• One More Sad Song
• Why Worry
• Don't Leave Me
• Too Far Gone
• Drive Away
• Happy Endings
• The Last Song
• I Wanna
• Fallin' Apart
• Damn Girl
• Gives You Hell
• Mona Lisa
• Breakin'
• Another Heart Calls
• Real World
• Back To Me
• Believe
• The Wind Blows

Artist + Songs

Avril Lavigne

• What The Hell
• Complicated
• Skater Boy
• I'm With You
• Losing Grip
• Don't Tell Me
• My Happy Ending
• I Always Get What I Want
• Nobody's   Home
• He Wasn't
• Keep Holding On
• Girlfriend
• Girlfriend (Junkie Remix)
• Girlfriend (Dr. Luke Ft. Lil Mama)
• When You're Gone
• The Best Damn Thing
• Alice
• Mobile
• Unwanted
• Tomorrow
• Anything But Ordinary
• Things I'll Never Say
• My World
• Nobody's Fool
• Too Much To Ask
• Naked
• Take me Away
• Together
• Don't Tell Me
• How Does It Feel
• Forgotton
• Who Knows
• Fall To Pieces
• Freak Out
• Slipped Away
• I Can Do Better
• Runaway
• Everything Back But You
• Hot
• Innocence
• I Don't Have To Try
• One Of Those Girls
• Contagious
• Goodbye Lullabye

Flyleaf

• I'm So Sick
• Fully Alive
• Perfect
• Cassie
• Sorrow
• I'm So Sorry
• All Around Me
• Red Sam
• There For You
• Breathe Today
• So I Thought
• Fully Alive (Acoustic)
• Red Sam (Acoustic)
• Cassie (Acoustic)
• I'm So Sick (Acoustic)
• All Around Me (Acoustic)
• Beautiful Bride
• Again
• Chasm
• Missing
• This Close
• The Kind
• In The Dark
• Set Apart This Dream
• Swept Away
• Tiny Heart
• Melting (interlude)
• Treasure
• Circle
• Arise
• Break Your Knees
• Enemy
• Have We Lost
• Who Am I

Linkin Park

• Nobody's Listening
• In The End
• Waiting For The End
• Catalyst
• The Requiem
• The Radiance
• Burning In The Skies
• Empty Spaces
• When They Come For Me
• Robot Boy
• Jornada Del Muerto
• Blackout
• Wretches And Kings
• Wisdom, Justice, And Love
• Iridescent
• Fallout
• The Messenger
• Blackbirds
• Papercut
• One Step Closer
• With You
• Points Of Authority
• Crawling
• Runaway
• By Myself
• A Place For My Head
• Forgotton
• Cure For The Itch
• Pushing Me Away
• Wake
• Given Up
• Leave Out All The Rest
• Bleed It Out
• Shadow Of The Day
• What I've Done
• Hands Held High
• No More Sorrow
• Valentine's Day
• In Between
•  In Pieces
• The Little Things Give You Away
• Don't Stay
• Somewhere I belong
• Lying From You
• Hit The Floor
• Easier To Run
• Faint
• Figure. 09
• Breaking The Habit
• Session
• Numb
• From The Inside

Disturbed

• Remnants
• Asylum
• The Infection
• Warrior
• Another Way To Die
• Never Again
• The Animal
• Crucified
• Serpentine
• My Child
• Sacrifice
• Innocence
• Indestructible
• Inside The Fire
• Deceiver
• The Night
• Perfect Insanity
• Haunted
• Enough
• The Curse
• Torn
• Criminal
• Divide
• Facade
• Ten Thousand Fists
• Just Stop
• Guarded
• Deify
• Stricken
• I'm Alive
• Sons Of Plunder
• Overburdened
• Decadence
• Forgiven
• Land Of Confusion
• Sacred Lie
• Pain Redefined
• Avarice
• Prayer
• Liberate
• Awaken
• Believe
• Remember
• Intoxication
• Rise
• Mistress
• Breathe
• Bound
• Devour
• Darkness
• Voices
• The Game
• Stupify
• Down With The Sickness
• Violence Fetish
• Fear
• Numb
• Want
• Conflict
• Shout 2000
• Droppin' Plates
• Meaning of Life

A Day To Remember - All I Want

UHHH.....

Whenever I keep playing music with these head phones I keep hearing a manly voice saying:
IT'S ME SOMETIMES...

And thend he continues to whisper that.

It's kinda creapy, because I think that's a way the paranormal can communicate.

My mom would go insane if she heard.
Like:
"Oh no! The Devil."
Better start praying for your life!!!!'
Not really, that was a joke.

Here's To Febuary

Hey, if I spelled the month wrong...my fault. I get really annoyed when people say "my bad" or "that's gay".
It's pathetic and stupid, if one doesn't like something don't use that phrase just say "oh, that's stupid!" or "that's just dumb!" and if the person made a mistake, for example:
If the person were to accidently hit another person with a basketball. Don't say "MY BAD!" Instead say "Oh, I'm sorry." Or both, but at least apologize.
Well, that's my opinion. But I wouldn't actually say that to anybody because I wouldn't want to offend anyone. Although I feel it would be best to say how feel because I kind of makes me sound pathetic.
But I'm not.
At least I don't think I am.
I mean I know what I am, but...
Whatever...

I'M SINGLE

I've been single for about a whole year now, but I had dated before, I guess.
I mean it never really was a date a considerably to be even  a "boyfriend."
The first was near my brother's age, 19 when I was 16 and well, he was weird but funny. And he tried to kiss me more then once and I always ducked or covered, I wanted to wait for more romantic and perfect moment rather then just giving it to him. And I kind of regret it but I'm also proud of myself and so better off.
And that relationship seemed to have only lasted for a short amount of time, maybe 2 weeks. But he was handsome. Just that he broke up with me, me being so honest about it.
he said "we should take a break."
Now, what the hell does that mean? I don't believe in breaks in relationships. It's either together or not together.
And the second one was about 4 feet tall, I'm 5 feet 2. So he was shorter than me and kinda overweight and not really good looking, sadly. I was depressed/ stoned (my friend would say) that's why I said yes. And being with him was an absolute regret. I apologize for everything: accepting the relationship, snuggling next to each other, and making him think I liked him. I bet he had an ince of doubt. I dumped him because he wasn't even talking to me, and the relationship only lasted  near 3 days.

I'd like to have a cool, outgoing but also laid back, funny, cute, pretty, handsome, slender, kinda muscular person with alteast 3 of those qualities and well...some form of good looks. But looks isn't everything. They definetly haqve to be nice and smart.

Who'd date an idiot? Who'd date a rude douchbag? For chiz I won't!

ANOTHER REG. VALENTINES

Another holiday without a lover to share it with.

I'm pretty and cute, so I've been told. But I'm actually kind of shy so it'd be hard for me to approach a guy without feeling anxious and worried. I blame it on my parents.

And I'm bisexual but you know girls don't approach girls unless they know for sure whether they like women too, or maybe even if they just might be a tad bit curious.

So, I guess I'll be spending my time hopefully eating valentines candy and watching movies on tv with my almost slightly dysfunctional family.

IS THAT HOW I END THIS?

I have to something better than that, but I need to get to school. I'm not able to be enrolled into one unless my mother has a morgage bill or some bill of some sort to show the school people.
And I won't be able to meet new people if I can't find anyone to talk to, and I can't just walk to anyone.
I have a type I like and places I go to I either don't see them or they seem to look busy or hanging out with their other buddies. I just can't do that.

WHEN SHOULD I END THIS?

I need a money solution but I seem to not find any jobs.
and I can't enter into competitions because many times one has to be 18 years or older.
Why?!
It sucks!
There better be some jobs open for hiring around here somewhere!
somewhere close...
I hope...

Well, LATER!

HELLO! 2011

Last year was 2010, now it's 2011.

I'm calling it: Skinny 2011!!!!

I plan and promising myself that I'll be losing about 34IBS, because last time I weighed myself it was 136 according to the scale, and I know that I've gained weight since then, my stomache grown. It bothers me and makes feel down.

NO MORE FEELING DOWN!!!

I'm going to stay positive as best I can, because it's either too much or too little; which it's not right. Listening to happier sounding songs will make me smile more and get out more, atleadt that's what
I'm hoping. I'm listening to Forever The Sickest Kids- My Worst Nightmare, which is a good song and I love the band! It rocks!
Another way to stay positive is by eating right is going by portions, the cal. amount, and fat content.
And I also need to keep myself occupied with stuff to do:
Finding a job
looking at a book or on the cmputer in the library
checking around in town
working out
running asround outside
hanging with friends
partying
dancing to music
ect.
anything else????

What Should I Do?

Besides sleeping on the bed all day or watching tv and eating chips or whatever the chiz you kids eat these days, go outside and play with your friends. If you don't have any...Sucks to be you.

OH, I have friends...but they're not here. I mean, because I'm in Georgia. And I haven't beenn enrolled to school yet, and it's been a month...In three days after this it's Feburary.

High School online? or Summer School?

Not sure, yet.

What Bothers me...

Not being able to join competitions b/c they require you to be 18 yrs or older. I'm 17 till december 8th....